DAY 1 - A Whole New Thinking

First off, I am creating this blog for myself. I am doing it to help me through my weight-loss journey. It is a way of keeping me on track and motivated. I plan to write every day as a way of holding myself accountable to my commitment to loose weight, and to keep it off for good.

Now, you are going to have to put up with me, because I am very new to this whole blogging thing, and I am by no stretch a writer, so be warned!

Okay for starters I will tell you a bit about how I came to the point I am at. I have pretty much been overweight my entire life. It started when I was just young, but as the years progressed I became a very emotional eater. I literally ate my emotions. Especially if I was upset, stressed or bored, I would eat. As a child I was never really involved in many sports other than swimming but that didn't end up lasting due to the overbearing self-conciousness I felt due to my weight. This only made things worse while I was eating so much. All through public school I struggled with over-eating and lack of exercise. Whenever teams were picked in gym class, I was always chosen last, and only by default. Then I would be hurt, go home and eat until I felt a little better. It turned into a vicious cycle.

Then when going into highschool I didn't know what to expect. After experiencing some name-calling and harrasment from an older boy I finally decided I had to do something. During highschool I had lost about 20-25 pounds more then once, but each time, something little would happen and I would gain it all back, and more. This something little was as simple as a container of oreos sitting on the table, or a left-over chocolate bar in the fridge. My state of thinking was: "Well I have lost 20 pounds already, one chocolate bar won't hurt..." this would turn into massive food binges, and then feelings of guilt. And what would happen when I'm feeling guilt? I would become extremely upset, and therefore eat to feel better. So the problem was never solved.

This past June 2009 I graduated highschool at 215 pounds. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be accepting my diploma looking that way. All throughout highschool I told my self that by grade 12 graduation I would be THIN. But the will-power was always set aside for one more day, or I was constantly thinking, I have lots of time, and before I knew it there I was. Feeling self-concious, exposed and embarassed.

After high-school I went the whole summer and only gained weight. In November 2009 I had reached the heaviest point in my entire life. I was 225 pounds. It had crept up on me so fast, I hadn't really realized how unhealthy I looked, felt and was. It came to me one evening while I was watching The Biggest Loser, and I suddenly realized: "These contestants are beginning to weigh less than me!" That is when I knew I was done living the way I had been for the past 10 years.

That is when at the age of 18 I decided to join a weight loss program. Of course I chose the most expensive one you could find with those "magic" pills that are supposed to help you get there that much faster. Well in the beginning I was feeling so inspired and I ended up loosing about 32 pounds, which means I was at 193. I thought I was on top of the world, but then one day came when I decided I could cheat on my diet, just a little and everything would be ok. And there I went again into that downward spiral of overeating and then starving myself the next day hoping it wouldn't show on the scales. Well turns out my body seemed to be packing on everything I had been eating and I gained about 6 pounds back.

I am now 199 and have been hovering there with slight ups and downs since January. I had hit a wall and I didn't know where to go next. Also because of the cost of the diet program being so expensive and myself basically working just to pay for the extremely expensive pills I began to feel very down. This only made things worse because I began to turn to food again as a way of comfort to the situation. I was truly stuck.

Just recently I came to a blog of a very good friend, who is on a weight loss journey of her own. She has lost almost 80 pounds in less than a year! She has been blogging her progress every night and she has been so successful. She has inspired me so much. I though: "I can do that too!" I think reading her blog has been an answer to my prayers. God has shown me a way that I can do this on my own! No pills, no extreme food restrictions, no starving myself. Just will-power and EFFORT. So today I quit my diet program, and I am heading towards success full throttle! And in the words of my very good friend who has inspired me, I will be eating less and moving more!

So that is how I got to where I am at this very moment. And this is my plan:

My plan is to eat healthy, and only enough to stop hunger. I plan to exercise at least once a day in the beginning and hopefully increasing my distances, speeds, and challenge as I become closer to my goal. I want to loose my craving to eat for no reason at all. I want to have a completely new lifestyle, one that makes me healthier, happier and one that I will be able to live for the rest of my life! (Oh yes, and 8 glasses of water a day ought to help!)

There is something I have realized these past few years throughout this battle with my weight....

SUCCESS TAKES EFFORT!

And I intend to prove it, as painful, sweaty, and impossible as it may seem.

So here are the details for Day 1:

Start Weight: 225 lbs.

Current Weight: 199 lbs.

Weight Loss To Date: 26 lbs.

Goal Weight: 140 lbs.

Goal Date: By September 30th 2010.

Weight Left To Loose: 59 lbs.

I plan to post pictures of myself every 10 - 15 pounds.

Anything is possible with God!

I'm making an effort!

- Beth